• fly.io: the free tier is gone and Postgres costs 38$/month.
• Firebase App Hosting: it doesn't do PHP and it's GCP.
• Coolify is the self-hostable version of Vercel
• Laravel Cloud: they shipped a full-stack scale-to-zero offer. Your app and its serverless Postgres go to sleep when there’s no traffic, and wake on the first request in under half a second.
• Sevalla: pricing per app; GCP-backed but the console is gtreat.
• Cloudflare: for the static and JS sites, Cloudflare is arguably the best home on this whole list. And nearly free.

Everyone scales compute to zero now. The entire decision lives in one place: what can't scale to zero. 90% of the time, it's the database.

This thoughts lead to an SQLite database (IMHO).

About PHP: But the distance between deploying PHP and deploying JS is the smallest I’ve ever seen it. The closest thing to match the author's need is Coolify.

Coolify proves the model works. What it’s missing isn’t features.
It’s polish. Reliability. Sane defaults that don’t quietly put twenty clients on one kernel. A UI I’d actually trust at 2 a.m.
And that’s a much smaller, much more interesting problem than “go invent a new cloud.”